Crushed...

Hi there,

i'm looking at the clock rite now, tik.. tok.. tik.. tok.. it's showing 1.32 pm.

the tv is on, showing the channel of E! - Behind the Scenes.

i can hear the voice of the running fan and some vehicles running on the road in front of my home.

the lamp above me is on.

i am breathing. yeah.. in an out.

but my life doesn't seem that way. i'm crushed.

i know that my life is much better than 100k++ teens around the world that can't have a happy family, can't have an education, can't enjoy watching the tv, can't sit in front of the notebook - opening blogger.com - and writing this rite now with 3x of meals per day.

ok, back to the topic. what i'm gonna write is about my feeling today.

well, lesse, i open this, my lovely blog today-since i just left it several months ago.

and i found out that i got too many drafts--unposted blog since June 09.

i count it, 1..2... and 7 drafts?????

i'm kinda shock ya know, how could it be?

some of the drafts, i wrote it almost 1000words, but i just left them unposted.

-____-"

i read back what i've written--the drafts, and i found very interested sentences which i DID write at that time.

here's the pic. :

YUP! she's right.

i feel my life is suck, --since i graduated from high school.

i think that i am not ready facing this cruel world.

it just that.... life doesn't seem to run the way i want.

i know, life will still run, ready or not ready, with or without me.

then, why don't i do something to change my life?

i must not be complaining all the time.

i must manage my almost crushed life.

well... i think i gotta start it from the smallest one, my room, coq i got a messy room rite now.

need to manage it. hahahaha...

i must GO, moving towards the new life for a better future!!!

see yaaaa til the next post. ;)

Last word for my first job.

hei, it's the end of Feb already!
oh my GOSH....
time runs so fast.

eeuum..
about my current job.
i said it in Jan that i wanna quit in the end of Feb.


well, things were kinda uncontrolled at that time. so, when i told my manager, i didn't *ok, ok, just a lil* feel that i was wrong doing it, leaving her with massive works to be done.

i got lots of supports from my best friend, without her, there's no today's me *freeing from hell*.
i'm so glad, she came back for months. it's just like that she's in our hometown just to support me! she said much and opened my eyes. :)


no one understands me more than her.
*aahh.. i think i'm exaggerating now*


these few days will be the very last days of me working in that office. *coq of stupid stocks, if no, i will be freed by now!*
for now, i won't miss it to much. but later, i don't know.
*natural behavior of human? it sucks!*

i admit it,________________________________________

i learn a lot working @ there.
i got to face many kinds of people, with kind of styles. *some of them are weird*
i have more braveness to face people and talk fluently.
i learn to do things fast.
i learn to value the running time, coq even a second could change people's life a lot.

_________________________________________

at the end, thank you for letting me to have such a great experience in my life.